The 6 week programme for children after separation or divorce

If you have been following this programme congratulations on completing it and I hope you have experienced the results that you wanted.For my daughter and myself a lot has changed over the past 6 weeks and I feel like our relationship has blossomed and grown stronger. I’ve also discovered a lot about me, specifically about the issues that I am still carrying with me since my separation almost 2 years ago. Before I delve into these deeper, let’s recap on the steps that we have done over the previous 6 weeks:

Week 1 Affirmations

Energetic cleansing of rooms

Crystals for grids for beds

Week 2 Use of crystals for general or specific issues

Meditation

Week 3 9 steps to self-love for parents
Week 4 Yoga for children
Week 5 Practising gratitude and appreciation
Week 6 Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) Tapping for children

Putting it all together

We have used many different techniques and whilst each week builds upon the previous one now is perhaps a good time to review how to add the component parts to make the complete programme. We all have busy lives and as there are only so many hours in the day, this programme has been designed with flexibility in mind. Please remember that many of the activities only need to be done on a weekly basis and the ones which need to be done on a daily basis are more around developing a way of life rather than doing specific tasks every day.

Below you will find an example of what a week following all of the steps of this programme could look like. The key is flexibility and therefore the following is only a guide.

  Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4
Sunday Energetically cleanse bedroom Create crystal grid around bed Decide on your affirmation for the upcoming week Choose crystals to use for the coming week
Activities for during the week
  Use Crystals Practice gratitude Self-love for parents Yoga&

Meditation

Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday

My Results from Following this Programme

This programme was beneficial for my daughter and really helped her with the issues and concerns that were affecting her. What she experienced was amazing and more than I could have wished for. She transformed from an extremely upset and frustrated 8 year old who was unable to express what she was experiencing (an 8 year old who would scream and shout for in excess of 30 minutes) to a much calmer and patient girl with an appreciation of crystals, meditation, Tapping and yoga. Most importantly she now has the ability to speak about things that are troubling her.

I experienced many benefits too:

  • I started seeing life in a more positive and supportive way – for me this was evidence that how you think and speak, and subsequently how you feel alters your world and the experiences you have.
  • I developed an understanding of how loving yourself / being a good friend to yourself changes your response to situations. You become less reactive and more understanding. Things no longer feel personal and it is far easier to remove yourself from the drama that we often find ourselves surrounded by. This not only relates to parenting but to life in general.

There were many other somewhat unexpected benefits that came with this programme and many opportunities for growth have presented themselves. Two of the biggest ones, which I’m sure are familiar to those of us who have experienced separation or divorce are:

  • The need for forgiveness – we all know at a deep level that forgiveness is a key ingredient when dealing with traumatic experiences that we go through. We know that forgiving (not the same as forgetting or condoning) someone or something that has happened is the only way for us to heal. We are the only one who feels the pain when we don’t forgive. This is not to suggest that forgiveness is easy and most of the time, time is needed to work through emotions and feelings before being ready for forgiveness. I have written a blog on techniques that can help us move into and beyond forgiveness.
  • The need to feel ‘safe’ – many of us have issues around not feeling safe. This doesn’t have to be purely about physical safety; many of us suffer from a fear of being mentally or emotionally attacked. This is where I have found myself over the past 2 years. Whilst I have never felt physically threatened following my separation, emotionally, I have felt very vulnerable. When one partner does not want to accept that a relationship is over and that they’re not a victim but rather an active participant in the circumstances, often what happens is that the partner who initiated the separation is bombarded with high charged and highly emotive texts, emails and occasionally aggressive phone calls. Over the 18-month period following my separation I received close to 900 texts alone. Whilst not all of these texts were emotionally draining, seeing your ex-partner’s name flash up on your screen inevitably makes you fear the worst and your sympathetic nervous system is activated, and over time your emotional, mental and physical health declines. I’ll write more about this and coping strategies to help you through the difficult months or years following separation.

All in all divorce and separation can be difficult times for adults and particularly for children. I hope that this programme had demonstrated that there is help available and through using gentle but effective complementary therapies it is possible to heal any emotional wounds and build a more positive and brighter future.

The best future we can give ourselves and gift to our children is a future in which we practise self-love. 

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