Her screaming felt like it went on for weeks. It was all consuming and all I could think about; even when she wasn’t with me. I spent many an unproductive week trying to work out what I was doing wrong and therein was my first misguided action.
If thoughts create things why was I focusing upon how challenging my daughter’s behaviour had become and feeling like it was because of something that I was either doing or was failing to do. I’m a big believer in the law of attraction having discovered it in 2006 when The Secret was released. So, as I was driving to work one morning listening to Mike Dooley’s ‘Manifesting Change’ it hit me like a freight train. I was not helping the situation but instead energetically perpetuating it. I had to face the reality that I was responsible for all that was happening in my life. If I continued to visualise a life in which my relationship with my daughter was strained because of her behaviour and my subsequent reaction to it, that is what I would continue to experience.
Step 1 – Life Changing Affirmations
I love the work of Louise Hay and for me she is the queen of affirmations. But what is an affirmation and how can they help? According to Louise everything that we say or think is an affirmation. Many of these we learn in childhood and they serve us really well. However, some don’t and without giving it a lot of conscious thought, much of what we think or say is negative and doesn’t create great experiences.
If we want to change our experiences and perception of life we have to change our words to help us create something new and positive. However, saying an affirmation is only part of the story as what you do during the rest of the day is especially important. In the words of Louise Hay “Think happy thoughts. It’s that simple. And it is doable. The way you chose to think, right now, is just that – a choice”. So I chose to think a different thought. There were many different affirmations that I could use but I decided upon a general affirmation to improve my thoughts around many things in my life as well as my situation with my daughter. The affirmation I chose was ‘Life brings me only good experiences. I am open to new and wonderful changes’.
This affirmation has become a mantra to me and I repeat it to myself often throughout the day whilst visualising a healthy and loving relationship with my daughter.
Having worked on the beliefs that were hindering me, I turned my attention to my daughter and what support I could offer her. I began by cleansing the energy in her bedroom.
Step 2 – Energetically Cleansing Rooms
A lot can be written on energetically cleansing rooms but for the moment I’ll let you know the basic steps so that you are able follow this programme.
We are all energetic beings and every emotion we experience, whether it be happy, sad, angry or joyful, or any other positive or negative emotion, affects the energy of the places we go or spend time in. My daughter had been upset for weeks now and therefore there was a lot of lower energy in her room. As I am trained in both Usui and Angelic Reiki, using the 3 sacred symbols of Usui Reiki I cleansed her room. If you are not a Reiki practitioner there are many other methods you can use to cleanse rooms. Below are two of the most simple and effective ones:
- Burning Incense or essential oil- making sure that it is safe to do so, you can burn incense or essential oil in your child’s room for 30 minutes (or longer if you feel it is required). Good ones to use are sandalwood or lavender.
- Open the window wide to let the fresh air in – perhaps one of the simplest methods but a very effective method of clearing your child’s room.
To anyone who is able to sense energy, the change in the room will be palpable. Now your child’s bedroom is energetically cleansed the next step is to create a crystal grid around their bed.
Step 3 – Crystal Grids
The purpose of creating a crystal grid around your child’s bed is to create an energetic vibration around your child which will comfort, support and soothe them whilst they are resting. You can achieve this by following the steps below:
A) Set your intention. Decide what you want to achieve, being as specific as possible and phrasing it in a positive way. Remember that you cannot interfere with anyone else’s free will. If you are creating a grid for someone else always ask their permission before you begin.
The intention that I set for my daughter was:
“May these crystals soothe, comfort and support my daughter in all ways and especially in ways which are for her highest good”
Say this intention in your head or out loud before you lay out your crystal grid.
B) Choose your grid formation. There are many different formations that you can chose from but for the purposes of this programme I used a square formation. A square formation consists of one crystal in each corner and a crystal in the centre of the square. This is the one that I created underneath my daughter’s fitted sheet.
The crystals that I would recommend you use for your four corners areamethyst (for its beautiful peaceful energy that encourages sleep, relaxation and protection) and the crystal in the centre should be a blue lace agate (for its cooling and calming energy and its ability to bring peace of mind). You may place the crystals on top of the mattress under a secure fitted sheet or you can place them in the corners and centre underneath the bed. The decision you make will largely depend upon the age of your child. You should always ensure that your child cannot get the crystals if they are likely to place them in their mouth. Similarly, the size of the crystal used will depend upon whether you are placing them on top of the mattress or whether they are on the floor. Do not worry if the crystal in the centre of the grid moves. In my experience as long as you have set the intention before you place the crystals the grid is still effective.
For those of you familiar with crystal grids you may be wondering why I have not suggested that you activate the grid with a crystal wand. As your child will be sleeping within the grid I find it far more beneficial and comfortable for the crystals not to be activated as I have found the energy becomes too strong if you do so. Placing the crystals in the corners and the centre is sufficient to create the atmosphere we require.
What happened during this first week?
The tantrums were still present but by the end of the first week the length of them had decreased and she was starting to recognise her behaviour. By this I mean that she would get upset, crying that she wanted to stop crying but that she could not. This unfortunately would make her cry even more and a cycle was beginning to form.
An addition to the first week of the programme was therefore required. In order to soothe her whenever she started getting aggravated or upset she would hold a large piece of blue chalcedony (for its acceptance of new situations, its ability to enhance communication and its ability to improve self-perception)…and this is when the magic started to happen. The blue chalcedony was able to get where she would not allow me to; it worked as an energetic hug that held her and loved her, soothing all of the raw emotion that was spilling out of her. Blue chalcedony calmed her and helped her gather her emotions without being overpowered and controlled by them.
The changes that happened for me were largely to do with my state of mind. I started to feel more positive about the situation we were in and viewed it as an opportunity to grow. Although I still wasn’t consistently holding the vision that my daughter’s behaviour would become “perfect” (after all there is no such thing), I was steadfast in the belief that no matter what happened we’d handle it.
It felt like great progress was being made. Join us for Week 2 of the programme where we’ll explore choosing crystals and how to meditate.
Please Note: the information contained in this blog is not a substitute for appropriate medical care. Should you or your child have a medical condition you are advised to contact your GP or other appropriately trained health professional.